Kill Your Idols-My style story



Everyone has at least one idol as a fashion reference. Someone whom you admire a lot and dream to be like him/her. It is very common phenomenon, especially on a young age when you’ re in a search of your identity and style. That’s how exactly it happened with me.
When I was a little girl I admired the Barbie character on movies. I really loved the princesses. I wanted their pink long dresses and their long blonde hair. As a result for whole my childhood years I was dressing in pink and until high school my schoolmates used to call me Barbie. As I was growing up I change totally my style with a 360 turn. I was so tired of being the pure innocent girl and the good student. I was 14 years old and I was dressing like 11 years old. I considered myself to be a child, not a teen, until the day I decided to make my rebellion. I wanted to be “cool” just like the other girls and guys look at me too.
It was a few months I didn’t have a clue of how I wanted my style looks like. Nothing was attractive enough to wear. I didn’t like the “wannabe adult” clothes that many schoolmates wore, so I chose a more free and alternative style. Even now I can determine that style but I had a new idol now: Avril Lavigne.
It was a period I really tried to experiment with my style. I threw away all of my colorful clothes and for the first time I dressed up totally black. Later I begun to wear color again and combine the black with pink and white, just like my idol did. I bought many accessories with skulls and spiked jewels and I dyed some tufts of my hair pink. The best of all, I wore all those things at school! There wasn’t even one day I would go to school without black eyeliner and skull accessories. Oh god I was such a poser! (Ok lets be honest, I still be a little bit!) I always wanted to be different, not because people ignored me but I had something that was rebelling inside me. Since a child ,I didn’t want to belong in the herd.
The years were passing by and I couldn’t find my true style, so the next person I tried to copy was Joan Jett. When I was on my 17 , I impersonated the tough and wild metal girl. This awesome cool girl who never gets hurt and doesn’t give a fuck. Maybe many schoolmates thought that I was a lesbian but I really didn’t mind. I really didn’t care to look like sexy or femine. And even if that fake girl with big balls wasn’t really me,I didn’t regret for the fact that I really enjoyed my teen rebelling style without trying to be a sexy woman, without wearing too short skirts and open boob tops. If I wouldn’t wear all those casual clothes in my teen years when would be the right time? I never was never in a hurry to grow up.
To continue with the next two years when I really tried to wear everything. One day I was dressing like a glam metal girl and the other day just like Britney Spears. I didn’t have a clue of fashion and what would be the message I wanted to pass with my style. I was in an endless try to be cool, wild ,sexy and stylish. As a result I was dressing like a clown and people around me had the thought I was a disturbed personality. I will say only this: I still remember a day when I went at Uni with orange top and black and white skirt combined with a couple of sandals which were too old-fashioned even for my grandma! Oh my God!


Few months later thanks to Gossip Girl show I found a new fashion idol: Taylor Momsen. Yeah, it was the time to dye my red hair blonde! It was the time to show my sexy side to the world. I ended up  roaming out with overknee underwear shocks and people around me thought I was a call girl. Guess what? I really didn’t give a fuck back then. I believed that I was so fucking awesome. The Taylor Momsen cheap imitation in town . I wore long T-shirts , bondage chokers , hight heels and I did my hair braids just like her! But I hadn’t totally forgot one damn thing, I wasn’t on a stage to dress that way! This girl wasn’t me. I didn’t want to look cheap especially when I am a person who have studied literature and love arts. The only good thing in that try was my awesome silver hair! Thank God Taylor was the last idol I had. After this obsession and a lot thinking , I stopped dressing with that way and I tried harder to find my style.
For two years I didn’t had a good job so I faced a big financial problem. I didn’t have the money to buy all those things I had on my mind. I wore the same clothes all the time and over the last three years I hadn’t bought anything. I was thinking many ways I could transform the old clothes with failed DIY ! Somehow some good clothes ended up to the trash, I was so disappointed. I knew exactly what I would buy but I didn’t have my daddy as a sponsor of my style just like my super gothic stylish friends did. I had to make a living on my own.
My whole life changed a day when I discover an article of how to find your own style. This article really inspired me and drive me to an other one. I begun to read more and more similar articles. Furthermore I begun to watch Youtube videos and search on Pinterest. At least I had found the design for each style and I understood what was wrong with me all those years. When my gaze fell on nu goth style I thought: ” this is exactly how I want my style to look like!” . In the beginning I found all the key clothes of that style and by the time I begun to add more personal details on it. Now It was the time to create my signature style, the appearance that makes me look me, Katherine!

To sum up I really believe it is good to have people you admire their style but use them as an inspiration and not trying to be a copy cap. All of my idols from the Barbie character and Avril Lavigne until Joan Jett and Taylor Momsen, differentiate with their style because they were unique!
You can’t be none else. Please appreciate all those little things that make you different and stop trying to be an other person. Your style reflects your personality and you are unique. Kill your idols and as Oscar Wilde said “Be yourself, everyone else is already taken”
Xoxo, Velvet Kat

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