“My name is Violet and today I’m gonna die. There’s no other choice anymore…
It was a beautiful summer day. My mum and I spent the whole day in the town and we returned at home later evening. The weather was mild and I could enjoy the summer magic breeze upon my face. I fell really happy. It was the first day after a long time that we had a little quality time together. My mum was a had working woman. She was working all day in order to bring money and food at home. We hadn’t any other financial source. On the other hand I was a student and I couldn’ t work because I was spending the half day at school and the other half by doing my homework. Mum needed a short break.
When we arrived home we sat in our balcone and made some tea. I still remember its taste. Ice tea with peach flavor and cookies that mum had baked before .She wanted just to treat me.She made all this atmosphere and light also a small lantern. I was feeling blessed. I didn’ t had a clue of what was going to happen.
We spend a few hours in the balcony by talking about many things like future plans and our goals. She was happy too. It been a long time since I’ve seen my mother smiling and now she looked to have fun. The hours were passing by and the sky got black, it was the time to go for sleeping. We needed a good sleep, mum was so tired, all she wanted was to close her eyes. We went in and we left the candle light on the table . Mum decide to sleep on living room’ s couch and leave the balcony door open because It was very hot and her bedroom didn’ t have a window like mine. She kissed me on the head and she lay on the sofa. I went in my room too.
It was close to midnight when a terrible screaming make me woke up . It was my mum’ s voice who was screaming for help. The whole house had been wrapped in flames. I woke up abruptly and saw the fire on my doorway. I ran and jumped above and tried to find my mum.
“Violet, ran go away! She was screaming ” She was in a corner with big fire waves around her.
She was totally burning. I couldn’t leave my mother. I run at her place and tried to catch her hand but a flaming shelf fall on her and the fire spread. Now her whole body was in flame. I tried to firn some water but our kitchen and bathroom was burning too. I had to act immediately. I open the door and scream for help.
“Violet run” her voice screamed to me all the time. Then two men of the fire service that our neighbors had call, come and wrap me at their hand.
“Mum! Don’t leave her, help my mum” I was screaming but now my mother voice’ s didn’ t sound. Three other men arrived and run to the house in order to find her. Mum had fell unconscious. It was too late for anything, SHE WAS ALREADY DEAD.
Many hours should had passed since I I regained my senses again.The only thing I was remembered before I ve been in the hospital, was two tall men wrap my arms as I was screaming. Then suddenly, everything around me turned into black and when I opened my eyes again I was on the bed of a hospital. I tried hard to recall what exactly had happed but I was sure only for that: I had lost my mother.My whole body was in pain and I fell my head twice heavy.As I was trying to get up, I saw the door open.It was my aunt Margaret.
“How do you feel my child?” she asked me as she came closer to me. Aunt Margaret was my mother’s first cousin.I stood up sitting and wrapped my arms around her .I huged her tight and I begun crying.
“Oh you poor little girl! I feel so sorry about what happened. Your mother’s death was a real tragedy. Now, I want you try to find the strange to carry on. I would like if you to come in my house. As you see I am all alone, we would be a great company.”she said
“I would like it, but I have to go in my house first. I want to see how it has been done and if there is anything intact to take with me.” I answered removing the tears from my face.
“It doesn’ t have to do this sweetheart! I have already been at your flath and I packed everything that had been saved from the fire. I have brought you a box with everything I found in a good situation..” She said and show me a paper box under the commode next to my bed. She holded it on her hands and gave it to me .
I opened the box carefully. There ware many clothes and jewels inside but my gaze fell on a specific object.,a porcelain doll. It was my mother’ s gift. She bought it to me when I was eight years old.She knew how much I loved to dress up like a doll and predent that I was living in a dollhouse. I always fell jealous about doll’s velvet white face and their beautiful clothes. I hold it on my hands and the tears overwhelmed my eyes for one more time.
“I miss her so much! I can’ t think my life without her. There is nothing make me wanna keep on living. I want my mother back” I complained and then crying out Ι burst to tears.
I spend the following three days in Margaret’s home. I was roaming like a ghost back and forth among the rooms. I didn’ t do absolutely nothing. I didn’t want neither eat nor drink .I didn’ t want to take a bath or even go for sleeping. I was already dead, I just didn’ t know it.
Many friends called me those days. They wanted know how I was after the accident. My best friend Sylia was coming to visit me on a daily basis but I didn’ t have nothing to talk about with her. I coulsn’t find anything funny enough in order to laugh and I couldn’ t also cry anymore. The only thing I felt was a huge empty space inside me.It seems it had no end. Until then, I knew exactly how the pain feels like but this feeling was something different. There was feel no motivation for living, I was a cold body. Day by the day, my situation was getting worst and aunt Margaret begun to worry seriously a lot. She really tried everything in order to bring me back, but without a result. She bought me new clothes, my favourite books and also brought me the most tempting food. Margaret couldn’ t do nothing more. She brought me everything except from the only damned thing I really needed: my mother.
That night of the fourth day I took the most brave decision. I would give an end to my endless condemnation. I had already thought any other option and I came to the conclusion that there was nothing to make me want be alive. Everything inside me was almost dead. There wasn’ t not even one reason to want live for. Every thought of a happy future life was a grand illusion for me. I tried hard to think just one reason worths to live for, a life dream, a big goal or the one and only love, but nothing of those worth without my mother. Since I was borned she was my whole word. I never met my father, I didn’ t know even his face. He left my mother when she was pregant so my only family was her. She was my refuge and at the same time the father and sister I d never had. She was my best friend and the hug I was crying in everytime I fell broken. There wasn’ t nothing strong enough to keep me alive. That night I would give an end.
It was close to 3 am. I was waiting for the right moment when Margaret would go for sleep. I had planned everything. When I got sure that she was sleeping deeply, I went in the bathroom and took the little bottle with Margaret’s analgetic pills. Then I returned in the bedroom and dressed up with my favourite white dress that mum had bought me for the school prom. I hold on my hands my little porcelain doll, I went down the stairs quietly and I went out from the house. I would go at my mother’ s grave, I would lay upon her tomb with my doll beside me and I would swallo all the pills in the bottle. It was the time I went to find her. That’s what exactly happened!
Don’t worry about me anymore. I can say I am trully happy now. At least I am with my mother and my new body will stay close to her forever. I would ask you only one thing …If you find me fallen on the ground… please, put me back where you had found me before, standing with my back on the marble cross”
The unknown man felt his hands starting trembling The paper letter fell from his hands. Now he had already understand the role of a creepy weird doll upon the grave he was standing infront. He furled the letter from the ground ,he folded it and put it back in its place. Then he touched my porcelain skin, caressed dearly my fake blondy curls and he fixed me better on my mother’ s tomb.
As I’m standing in front of a scratched picture,
I notice how much has changed the familiar face.
Is he really me this monstrous evil creature,
who’s upsetting my guts with his frozen gaze?
His whole corpse is marked with my scars and sins,
He’s not the innocent and pure man I used to be,
Now his feline eyes are stabbing me like poison pins,
But under his terrible look I barely recognize me
It was a night when Devil came just to kiss my lips,
and then offered me such a tempting propose.
Oh! my poor little soul has became a grim beast,
hidden into a body beautiful as a spring’s rose.
God condemned me with the most horrible way,
to redeem my obsessive vanity forevermore.
Then I chose to cross beauty’s wicked pathway,
and Devil inside the portrait sucks upon my soul…